I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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