i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
