i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
pray to the hookup gods
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
