its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Banned from zoo.
Again?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
