I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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