so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
