Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
