If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
