If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
