I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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