this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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