What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
