Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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