How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
