He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
