Just fell off a train. Bad.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
