I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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