Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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