Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
