Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My ATM looks so different sober.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
