Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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