Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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