We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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