The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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