I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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