My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
