Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
