tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
