Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
