I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
