It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this boner is exhausting
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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