We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
