had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
