she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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