school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
