oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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