Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
