Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize