M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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