Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we made out on top of his cat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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