you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
