I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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