i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize