Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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