i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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