so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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