You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i came on her dog
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
