thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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