Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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