Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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