yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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