my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
