We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
