He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
