So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
