i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I could fuck to npr.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
