So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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