two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
