You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
