Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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