Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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