dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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