i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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