How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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