Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
